Unforgivable
by Ivvic
Summary: Matt does something so completely unforgivable, so what happens now? Yaoi!! maybe yuri later on, i haven't decided.
1. Unforgivable

Tai pounded his fist on the steering wheel in anger. After a minute he realized someone was honking at him. The light had turned green. Tai stamped his foot on the gas and in minutes was on the freeway.  
  
Tai reached over and flicked off the radio. It was just annoying him and he could hardly hear it over the pounding anger *hurt* in his head *heart*.  
  
He was having problems believing what Matt had done. What his beloved Yamato had done to him, it was completely unforgivable.  
  
Ruthlessly he cleared Matt from his mind and concentrated as hard as he could on his driving. He didn't even notice when dusk fell and the sky turned as black as his heart felt. He was relieved when he neared his destination. He couldn't drive anymore, no one should be driving in a state like that.  
  
He just couldn't focus properly, it was a task to keep his mind off of the traitorous deed Matt had committed. Tai slammed to a stop outside the apartment building and ran up the steps. He pounded on the door for a minute before shoving his fists into his pockets.  
  
He paced in front of the door, feeling the need to keep moving and waited impatiently. He would have pounded on the door some more but he could hear movements from inside it and decided not to. After what seemed like an eternity the door opened slowly.  
  
"Do you have any clue how late, Tai?" Jyou said in shock. Koushiro heard the name and appeared in the entryway behind his boyfriend's slender form.  
  
"Come on in," Koushiro said leading the way to the living room. "What happened Tai?"  
  
"Matt," Tai started to say but bit off the rest of his sentence.  
  
"Would you like some coffee? Maybe it would help take your mind off matters for the time being," Jyou suggested. Tai noticed his friends looked tired, he glanced at his watch and saw it was almost one thirty in the morning.  
  
"A guillotine wouldn't take my mind off matters," Tai said flatly. "But I would like some coffee thank you." Jyou and Koushiro exchanged looks, whatever Matt had done it was big.  
  
Jyou went into the kitchen and started making some coffee.  
  
"Does Matt know you came here?" Koushiro asked unable to think of a different question.  
  
"I doubt he knows I'm here, but he should know I'm not there, if he even went home."  
  
"Did you leave him a note?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not? He's probably worried sick about you," Jyou said as he entered the room with three cups of coffee.  
  
"I don't think he cares. Why should he, he's not in love with me anymore."  
  
"He told you that?" Koushiro said unbelievingly.  
  
"No. But he didn't have to. His actions let me know," Tai frowned, he could tell his friends wanted to know what Matt had done. They had a right to know since Tai had shown up on their doorstep so early. "My fiancé, Matt, the love of my life, he got some girl pregnant." 


	2. Unforgivable

Part 2  
  
"Matt did what?" Koushiro and Jyou exploded at the same time. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes. She called up this morning to let him know."  
  
"What exactly did she say?"  
  
*Flashback*  
  
Tai had been sitting on the couch watching TV, generally enjoying his day off, when the phone had rung.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey Matt, It's me Jun."  
  
"I'm not," Tai had tried to tell her but her voice had over ridden his own.  
  
"Do you remember last week, Friday?" Tai remembered that Matt hadn't come home that night until four in the morning. "Well, I just found out I'm pregnant. It's yours!"  
  
Tai hadn't paid attention to the burst of giggles from the other end of the line, didn't realize that there must have been five girls wherever Jun was. He hadn't noticed the phone slip from his numb fingers, hadn't heard the crash it made as if bounced off the coffee table and onto the floor. Tai didn't notice the pain that bloomed for a few seconds before disappearing as he fell to his knees.  
  
Tai did notice the wrenching of his heart, the tears that demanded to be let out. He had stormed out of the house, grabbing the car keys and left without ever hanging up the phone.  
  
*End Flashback*  
  
Of course Tai didn't tell either of the boys that last bit, or about the pain that was still raging in his system. He refused to admit to himself that it was pain, he denied he felt anything but anger.  
  
Koushiro glanced at Jyou, at a complete lost for any words that could be of any comfort.  
  
"Maybe she was lying Tai, how do you know she was telling the truth? You just cut out on Matt without even asking his side of the story?" Tai lent back at the attack, though every word he said was true.  
  
"I was upset, I wasn't exactly thinking about it but what are the chances that some girl would suddenly claim she had his child? It isn't that likely, and she just happened to know exactly what night he didn't come home?" Tai snapped back at Jyou.  
  
"Both of you calm down," Koushiro said holding his hands up. "It's late, and we are all tired. We should get some sleep and discuss this tomorrow." The other two nodded and Jyou moved off to get some blankets for Tai.  
  
"Tai, we have to go to work in the morning, but you are more then welcome to crash here for however long you need."  
  
"Thank you Koushiro," Tai said a bit solemnly. Koushiro could see the tears in Tai's eyes but knew better then to comment.  
  
Jyou came back with the blankets and helped Tai to set up a makeshift bed on the couch. They showed Tai where everything was in the apartment before going to sleep. Tai sat up for a while that night, tears shinning in his eyes, but refusing to let himself cry over Matt. 


	3. Unforgivable

Part 3  
  
"Tai, Tai," Matt called out amiably as he worked his way to the bedroom, thinking that maybe Tai had just decided to sleep the whole time during his day off. Actually he had the whole week off.  
  
"TAI!!" Matt yelled at the top of his lungs, feeling a little angry that Tai hadn't answered him yet and he hoped to scare the boy so badly he would fall out of bed. Matt felt a little bit worried when Tai still didn't answer and a quick search of the apartment proved it was empty.  
  
"Where did that boy get to?" Matt wondered to himself. He had come home for lunch to see his boyfriend, but apparently that wasn't happening. He made himself a sandwich and sat back on the couch flipping on the TV.   
  
As Matt sat his coke can on the coffee table he noticed that the phone was off hook. Feeling uneasy he settled it back into the cradle and stared pensively at it.  
  
"I wonder who called," he muttered to himself snapping off the TV irritably. Matt snatched up the phone when it rang, praying it was Tai.  
  
"Hello?" he demanded.  
  
"Hey Matt, um I'm sorry about earlier," came Daisuke's voice.  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"Didn't Jun call you, not half an hour ago? I've been trying to get a hold of you since then, but it was busy."  
  
"I just got back home, the phone was off the hook. I guess she got a hold of Tai. What'd she say to him?" Matt demanded loudly. Daisuke had to hold the phone about a foot away from him and it was a second before he processed the jumbled words.  
  
"She had a sleep over last night and this morning the girls decided to play truth or dare. Some chick dared June to call up a boy and tell them she was pregnant with their kid. Then they randomly picked someone from MY address book. I'm sorry Matt, I only got home after they hung up."  
  
The phone nearly slipped from Matt's fingers, but he forced the numb digits to close tightly around the phone. "Good bye," he said thickly. He let the phone drop down into his lap as he stared at it with tears filling his eyes. 


	4. Unforgivable

Part 4  
  
Tai woke up hours after Jyou and Koushiro left he got up and stretched, yawning widely. Then quite abruptly he found himself sitting on the floor. Slightly sore he glared at the couch he had forgotten he was on.  
  
"Stupid couch," he muttered vaguely. Of course it wasn't the couch he was mad at, he was still mad at Matt who was he reason for sleeping on the couch in the first place. Just another thing to add on his list of injustices.  
  
Wondering around the kitchen he found some cereal and set about getting a bowl. He started and the box nearly jumped out of his fingers as the phone rang starting loud. Tai wandered into the doorway of the master bedroom and listened for the message as he munched on the dry cereal.  
  
"Hey Koushiro, Jyou, I'm looking for Tai," came the tired voice. Tai recognized it immediately and rightly guessed Matt was on his lunch break at work. "If you see or hear from him, tell him I really need to talk with him." Matt was so distracted that he didn't remember to leave his name.  
  
After the click there was a beep from the machine. Tai slid to the floor, tears running down his face despite his best efforts to stop them.   
  
*beep*   
  
The box of cereal fell away from his numb fingers, spilling a little on the floor.   
  
*beep*   
  
Tai had been able to keep his tears inside for so long.   
  
*beep*   
  
He was frustrated that Matt's voice was setting off his tears.   
  
*beep*   
  
The sobs racked Tai's body and he had to bite his lip to keep from gasping noisily for breath.   
  
*beep*   
  
*beep*  
  
It just hurt so much  
  
*beep*  
  
*beep*  
  
*beep* 


	5. Unforgivable

Part 5  
  
Matt drummed his fingers impatiently glancing at his watch every few seconds. He got off work in about ten minutes and he had been dying to leave since he had gotten there. He wanted, he simply needed to go home and see if Tai was there or if there were any messages. He had talked to a few people during his lunch hour when they were apparently home on theirs.  
  
Tai had not gotten in any sort of contact with either of their siblings or Mimi, which also left out Sora. The only other place he had called was Jyou and Koushiro's because Matt didn't really think that Tai would have gone to any of the younger Chosen's houses.  
  
Of course there was always the possibility that Tai had just gone to a motel and gotten a room for the night there.  
  
Matt sighed heavily, he wasn't sure what he could do. He had to get a hold of Tai and explain the whole situation to him. Surely when Tai realized the whole misunderstanding he would come home happily?  
  
Another glance at his watch verified he was still there for another five minutes but he decided to leave and go home. Matt caught a city bus, which stopped near his street and ran home from there. Upon entering he found that there were no messages, and no Tai. Disappointed he sat on the couch sighing deeply.  
  
Matt jumped up getting a little light headed in the process when the shrill ringing of the phone sounded. He picked up the receiver before it could ring a second time.  
  
"Hello?" he demanded sounding slightly breathless.  
  
"Sorry to disappoint you but it's only me," Mimi said resisting the urge to giggle. She knew it would make Matt mad.  
  
"I'm not disappointed," Matt said, but his tone stated otherwise.  
  
"Of course you are," she admonished. "You wanted it to be Tai right?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm worried about him."  
  
"Who wouldn't be. But lay your worries to rest, I think I know where he is."  
  
"WHERE?" Matt fairly yelled down the line.  
  
"Calm down. Sora and I are going to visit Jyou and Koushiro tomorrow, and we planned out this dinner like weeks ago. Today I called Jyou to make sure that we were still on and he mentioned that there would be an extra guest, but he wouldn't say who. So I think that Tai went and hid out over there."  
  
"Thank you Sora," Matt said about to hang up.  
  
"I'm not finished yet," she said somehow knowing what he was about to do. "And I'm Mimi, so start paying attention. Sora and I are going to drive up there tomorrow morning so if you want a ride instead of public transit."  
  
"Thanks Mimi," he said feeling a little sheepish at having gotten her name wrong.  
  
"Anytime," she said. "Get some rest tonight, don't even think about sitting up all night worrying."  
  
"OK. Bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Matt sat down feeling some relief but it was most over shadowed by the impatience he felt. He wanted Tai in his arms so badly, it was almost a physical ache. He went into his bedroom and flopped face first into the pillows. He could still smell him here.  
  
Matt managed to tear himself away from the delicious scent and went into the kitchen to get some dinner. He made himself a sandwich because he wasn't interested in fixing anything else. He sat listlessly in front of the television flipping through the channels every so often.   
  
His eyes began to feel heavy and he made his way to the bedroom where he lay in his boxers breathing in deeply to catch Tai's fading scent. Though he was tired he was unable to fall asleep for hours as he sat up with burning dry eyes. 


	6. Unforgivable

Part 6  
  
Koushiro buttoned up his shirt slowly the next morning, glad to have the day off. It was a Wednesday, an unusual day to have off, but the day had been planned weeks ago. Mimi and Sora were going to arrive in time for a late lunch.  
  
He was of course excited about seeing his old friends again, but he was also worried about Tai. When Koushiro had arrived home early from work it was evident that his friend had been crying. Although Koushiro wasn't sure he suspected Matt called though there was no message and Tai hadn't said so.  
  
Jyou came into the bedroom from his shower looking pensive despite the water dripping onto his face from his hair.  
  
"You worried about Tai also?" Koushiro inquired.  
  
"Quite frankly yes. He seems to have a lack of energy, then again he never was much of a morning person as I recall."  
  
"You know it's not the morning that's bothering him," Koushiro said resisting the temptation to kiss the water droplets from his partner's face.  
  
"I know, but I can't think of anyway to help him," Jyou said with a sigh as he began to get dressed.  
  
"I wish we could do something as much as you do," Koushiro agreed as he watched the beautiful creature in front of him. "But being here for him is the best we can do right now, and it's a start."  
  
"True, but I still want to be able to do more," Jyou said frowning sullenly.  
  
"I know, I know," Koushiro sighed. "I'm going to make some coffee. Join us when you're dressed?"  
  
Jyou nodded and Koushiro went into the kitchen where he saw Tai sitting listlessly at the counter.  
  
"Tai, Tai?"  
  
"Huh?" Tai started suddenly seeing Koushiro standing before him.  
  
"Would you like some coffee?" Koushiro asked him with a wry grin.  
  
"Uh, sure," Tai said slowly regaining stock of his surroundings. "Thanks again for letting me stay here."  
  
"Of course Tai, did you expect us to give you the cold shoulder." Koushiro wasn't at all worried that Tai might overstay his welcome, the boy did have a job to return to next week after all, and hopefully by then the whole thing would be settled.  
  
"Koushiro, did you tell Tai about our plans this evening yet?" Jyou asked as he came into the room handsomely dressed. Tai felt sort of out of place because he was wearing the same clothes he had been the past few days while the other two were dressed up but still causal.  
  
"No, not yet."  
  
"I don't want to be any trouble," Tai started to say, thinking that maybe they just felt awkward about having plans that couldn't include him.  
  
"Oh it's not that," Koushiro said hiding a smile. "Mimi and Sora are coming up to have a late lunch and then dinner with us. It's perfectly all right that you join us."  
  
"It's something we've been looking forward to for a few weeks now," Jyou said seeing the distrust in Tai's eyes. Their former leaded relaxed immediately, feeling slightly foolish for having jumped to the conclusion that his friends were trying to fix his relationship with Matt by forcing them to meet.  
  
"You will come?" Koushiro prompted.   
  
"If there's room for me," Tai agreed.  
  
"Of course there is." 


	7. Unforgivable

Part 7  
  
Matt woke up groggily at an incessant ringing. Groping for the phone on the bedside table he picked it up.  
  
"Wake up Matt," said a far too perky for the hour voice.  
  
"Mimi?" Matt questioned.  
  
"Yes, it's me Mimi, your ride. Now wake up. You have half an hour to get ready. Bye."  
  
"Bye," Matt said and hung up. He lay in the bed another few minutes before rolling out of it. He showered quickly and brushed his teeth with a towel wrapped around his waist. He dried his hair quickly, glad it wasn't as long as it used to be and left it for lack of time. He hurriedly dressed and had just finished breakfast by the time Mimi was pounding on the door.  
  
Matt was tugging on his jacket when he stepped out of the apartment and discovered it was Sora, and not Mimi. It surprised him slightly, though he wasn't quite sure why.  
  
Matt followed her to the car where Mimi was waiting patiently.  
  
"Good morning Matt," Mimi said in pleasant tones as he all but crawled into the back seat. "You should have gotten sleep like I told you."  
  
"I tried," Matt said a little sullenly.  
  
"Obviously with success," Sora said, letting Matt know he wasn't the only who disliked early mornings.  
  
"Sora, do you want me to explain why you didn't get enough sleep last night?" Mimi asked serenely hiding a smile as Sora turned a bright shade of pink. Having effectively stopped the on coming fight Mimi turned to other matters.  
  
Mimi's bubbly voice filled the car as she eagerly told Matt the latest gossip she had learned. Matt smiled to himself, feeling content to listen to Mimi. It had been too long since he had last meet up with his best friend.   
  
"Matt, you neglected to say earlier, why did Tai run off?" Of course he had forgotten that she always lulled him into a sense of security before asking about his problems. He froze and started at her, had known it was going to come up eventually, but he still hadn't been able to prepare for it.  
  
"I know you don't really want to talk about it, but, well I just don't care. I need to make sure forcing Tai-chan to see you isn't unfair to him. Besides, I've known and helped out your relationship since before it began, I have a right to know."  
  
Mimi's mock haughty tone made Matt laugh, but he had to agree with her.  
  
"I know Mimi, and as I have told you many, many times I am eternally grateful."  
  
"So then spill," she commanded.  
  
"Tai had the day off and Jun called the house."  
  
"Jun?" Sora interrupted.   
  
"Daisuke's sister. She and some of her friends had a sleep over and someone had the bright idea of borrowing Daisuke's phone book to call a random number. Jun was dared to tell me that she was pregnant, with my kid."  
  
"Oh god!" Mimi gasped.  
  
"No wonder why Tai left," Sora said, then offered Matt an apologetic smile.  
  
"Don't worry, Matt-kun, we'll have this sorted out in no time."  
  
Matt nodded though he wasn't entirely sure he believed it. 


	8. Unforgivable

Part 8  
  
Tai stood uncertainly in front of the mirror, fiddling with his borrowed tie. He had borrowed a dress shirt from Joe, which fit fairly well once the sleeves were rolled up.  
  
He had to admit that he was excited to see Sora and Mimi, it had been a long time since they had seen them, though not nearly half as long as it had been for Koushiro and Jyou.  
  
But try as he might he could not get Matt out of his head. His traitorous deed hung, lurking continuously at the edge of Tai's thought.  
  
Tai pushed the heel of is hands in to his eyes to push back the tears and forced his thoughts onto Sora and Mimi. At one time Sora had been his best friend, they had talked constantly about everything.  
  
They had drifted apart slightly when Sora had started dating Mimi, and then even more when he and Matt had started going out. Sora had been mad at him for not telling her he was in love with Matt.  
  
Of course that had been a mistake, choosing his relationship with Matt over his one with Sora.  
  
Sora would have never done anything to stab him in his back. She spoke her mind and would have been straightforward like she always was. Unlike that secretive jerk who went behind your back rather then discussing his problems.  
  
Tai made a noise in the back of his throat when a few tears were able to slip past his guard and roll down his checks. He scrubbed them away angrily before bending to wash his face. The cool water made him feel slightly better.  
  
Matt wasn't worth his pain, or his tears. Tai was determined to keep him far from mind as he exited the bathroom and joined Koushiro and Jyou in the living room.  
  
*~&~  
  
Jyou stiffened when he spotted his dear friends, or rather who was sitting directly between them. Koushiro bumped into Jyou and peeked over his shoulder to see what Jyou was staring at. His breath hissed in quickly and his eyes bulged.  
  
"My God, I wanted them to meet and have a discussion, but this doesn't seem right," Koushiro said.  
  
"Should we tell him?" Jyou whispered. It was a redundant question because at that exact moment Tai spotted Matt. His fists clenched and he turned pale.  
  
"Tai, please don't cause a scene," Koushiro said laying a hand on Tai's shoulder in a vain attempt to calm him.  
  
"I wont," Tai said shortly. Then reconsidered because he wasn't sure he could promise that. "Why don't you ask them to meet us outside, so I can talk with Matt since it's so obvious you want me to."  
  
"We didn't know they were bringing them Tai," Jyou said. "But we will ask them to go outside, if you promise not to hit anyone."  
  
"No."  
  
"Tai."  
  
"I'm being more then reasonable here. I want to kill him, instead I'm only going to hurt him a little bit."  
  
"Won't you at least see if he has an explanation?"  
  
"What could he possibly say? What? Nothing, nothing can change what he did."  
  
"I'll go get him, but please here him out first," Koushiro said with a sigh. He would have warned Matt to run the other way if he hadn't known Tai would have chased after him in the crowded restaurant. Maybe hurting someone in the process.  
  
*~&~   
  
Mimi saw Koushiro striding towards them and swallowed.  
  
"Show time," she whispered under her breath.  
  
Matt's head jerked up and he stood to meet Koushiro.  
  
"Is he here?" Matt demanded.  
  
"Yes, he wants to talk to you outside. Why did you bring him with you Mimi? Sora, did he tell you why Tai left?"  
  
"Because of Jun, we know." Mimi started to say more but she saw Matt was getting up and moving towards Tai and Jyou.  
  
"Matt," she warned him.  
  
"I know, Mimi, don't worry. But I have to tell him."  
  
"What's he got to tell him?" Koushiro asked slightly puzzled.  
  
"What Jun said was a practical joke. Truth or dare game."  
  
"Oh. I hope Tai doesn't kill him first." 


	9. Unforgivable

Part 9  
  
Tai saw Matt approaching and stalked outside to the parking lot. He knew Matt would follow, just as he knew Matt would immediately trying to explain and pretend he hadn't done anything wrong.  
  
Tai massaged one fist in anticipation, he could wait to hit him. To try and cause Matt a fraction of the pain he had been dealt. Matt stepped out of the doors seconds but stood a little away from Tai.  
  
"Go ahead, give me your excuses," Tai spit out. "Go ahead and tell me whatever lie you concocted. I want to hear this."  
  
"Tai, I'm not going to say anything about that. Not a thing, you don't need an explanation, you already know what happened. You wouldn't believe a word otherwise. I just wanted to tell you I love you. I need you Tai. I want you to come back with me, please."  
  
"No, why should I?" Tai said as tears began streaming down his cheeks. Tai stepped up to Matt and punched him squarely in the stomach. "What you did was completely unforgivable, I can't ever forget it."  
  
"Maybe it's better that you think that. I'm not entirely sure I would have been able to stay with you after all this anyway. When you do come back to town get your stuff and don't even think of staying a minute longer," Matt said once he could breathe again.  
  
"I hadn't planned on it in the first place," Tai said sourly, forcing the flow of his tears to cut off.  
  
"Oh, and Tai, you might want to talk to Daisuke."  
  
With that Matt turned and walked hurriedly away.  
  
"Matt!" Mimi yelled stopping him. "Do you want us to tell him about..."  
  
"No!" he cut her off sharply. "He's not going to believe you, and I don't want him to. I can't be in love with any one who trusts me so little."  
  
Matt half jogged out of the parking lot and to the near-by hotel that Mimi and Sora had rented out. He collapsed on the bed sobbing. After a while one of the girls came in and sat on the bed next to him, rubbing his back in a vain attempt to calm him.  



	10. Unforgivable

Part 10   
  
"Tai!" Jyou yelled at Matt. "Do you know what you just did?" Tai just looked at Jyou choosing not to answer the question.   
  
"You just completely ruined any hope of ever patching up your relationship, that's what you just did," Koushiro said in a flat tone.   
  
"Good, I don't want to have to ever see him again."   
  
"You didn't even see what he had to say."   
  
"He didn't want to give an explanation, he couldn't come up with one I would believe, so he told me the truth. I already knew what had happened."   
  
"Meaning you weren't ever going to believe anything else, that you couldn't put enough faith in him to confront him. Something you've never avoided before, especially when concerning Matt."   
  
"I left because I didn't want him to see me cry," Tai fairly hissed, mad that Matt had somehow managed to make his own friends turn against him. "Which is precisely what would have happened had I stayed. He doesn't deserve my tears, or any of the pain he caused me."   
  
"He didn't cause it!" Jyou half yelled at him.   
  
"Jyou, quiet down," Koushiro admonished. "Tai, we do feel bad that you were hurt, but Matt's hurting too, and you should try and talk with him. Civilly." Tai's expression said that wasn't happening. "Then talk to Daisuke. Call him as soon as we get back to our apartment."   
  
"Why should I?"   
  
"You owe us because this fight between you and Matt just ruined the lunch we had planned and been awaiting for months with Mimi and Sora. And Daisuke just happens to be the brother of the girl Matt 'impregnated'."   
  
"Fine, I'll call him. And I am sorry that I ruined your lunch," Tai said having lost his steam. They went back to the apartment and Tai took the phone, and sitting in the privacy of his hosts' room called Daisuke.   
  
"Moshi moshi," came the feminine voice.   
  
"Is Daisuke there?"   
  
"Hold on a moment." Tai waited impatiently, wondering just what Daisuke would have to say.   
  
"Sup?" Daisuke said, sounding slightly breathless.   
  
"It's Tai."   
  
"Oh, hey. I'm still sorry about what happened. Jun got grounded for it."   
  
"She deserves it," Tai said with a small growl.   
  
"So what so you want."   
  
"*Matt* told me I should call you." He said the name with such venom and scathing hatred that Daisuke actually recoiled even though he was no where near Tai.   
  
"It sounds like Matt didn't tell you what happened."   
  
"He didn't have to, I already knew. Your sister told me."   
  
"My sister? Tai, Jun was dared to call someone out of my phone book and tell them that she was pregnant. She's not really, she's still a virgin. She admitted as much when my parents set in on her about lying to Matt. Only it was you she was talking to."   
  
"No."   
  
"Tai, I'm sorry you didn't find out sooner, I tried to call you as soon as I got home, but the line was busy for about half an hour, and then I finally got a hold of Matt. He should have told you."   
  
"I wasn't there for him to tell me," Tai whispered, slumping on the bed. "I didn't trust him." It was what Jyou and Koushiro had been telling him but now it was finally kicking in. He had been too upset to even consider that he had been acting irrationally before.   
  
"I'm sorry about all this Tai, but I hope you guys work things out. You're such a good couple."   
  
"I ruined things," Tai told him. "Just because I was too stupid to even think. We'll never get back together." With this new realization he began crying softly, making little hiccuping noises.   
  
"Where are you Tai? Do you want me to come over?"   
  
"No."   
  
"Are you going to be OK?"   
  
"Yeah. Bye Daisuke."   
  
"Bye Tai."   
  
Tai clumsily hung up the phone, missing the cradle twice. He made a choked noise as the tears came faster and faster, and Koushiro and Jyou rushed in to try and comfort him.   
  
"What happened?" Jyou asked as he rubbed Tai's lower back.   
  
"It's over," he said sounding strangled. "And it's all my fault."   
  
"Tai, it's not your fault. You just were acting on emotion, like you always do," Koushiro stated simply.   
  
"Then that's the problem. I'm too impulsive to keep a good relationship."   
  
"Tai that's not true, and you know it. Do you think Matt would have consented to marry you if it were true?"   
  
"Then it's a good thing he found out before wasting anytime planning a wedding."   
  
"Tai, snap out of it. Go see Matt, try and sort things out, get down on your knees and beg," Jyou told him in earnest.   
  
"I can't. It's pointless."   
  
"Nothing's pointless as long as you try. I bet he's at the motel Mimi and Sora got a room in."   
  
"So what? He doesn't want to see me!" Tai fairly wailed in his misery.   
  
"Then make him see you Tai, you've never had a problem in that area before."   
  
"I didn't trust him," Tai moaned wretchedly. "And it's all over because I couldn't trust him."   
  
"Tai," Jyou started to say but was savagely cut off.   
  
"No, there's nothing I can do. Every relationship needs some trust, and I couldn't cut it. He's better off without me." Tai stood up, all but throwing Jyou and Koushiro's grips off of him. He didn't deserve their comfort, or their pity.   
  
"Tai, where are you going?"   
  
"Home, to get my stuff and move out."   
  
"You can't go like that Tai!" Jyou exclaimed, rushing forward to grab Tai's shoulder.   
  
"You'll kill yourself," Koushiro hurriedly put in. "Stay here until you've calmed down enough that you can drive properly."   
  
"Fine," Tai muttered, going into their living room to throw himself on the couch.


	11. Unforgivable

Part 11  
  
Tai looked around his new apartment with apparent distaste. He wasn't happy with it but he had to live somewhere.  
  
"You have to admit it's not too bad," a female's voice said dropping a box on the floor and wrapping her arms around Tai. "Especially when considering the price."  
  
"I guess so," Tai muttered giving her a quick hug before picking up his box again and dragging it to one of the back rooms.  
  
"Which room is yours?"  
  
"I don't know yet. You can have first pick I guess."  
  
"Cheer up Tai-kun, it wont be so bad," she said squeezing his shoulders before poking her head through a door. "I want this one!" she declared throwing her arms out.  
  
"You haven't even seen the other ones," he told her with a laugh.  
  
"I don't need to, I like this one. I love this apartment!" she crowed kissing his cheek before running out to get some more boxes out of her car.  
  
Tai grinned and shook his head in wonder going before going to decide between the other two bedrooms.  
  
*~&~  
  
Matt glared at his empty apartment. He was angry that it looked so empty and still managed to remind him of Tai. Well that would soon change, as he was going to take on a roommate.   
  
When the phone rang Matt was reluctant to answer it, expecting it to be someone calling about the apartment.  
  
"Yamato," a breathless but familiar feminine voice said as soon as he picked up.  
  
"What's wrong?" he demanded, adrenaline rushing through him.  
  
"Nothing per say, but I need to talk to you. I saw your add."  
  
"What about it Mimi?" Matt asked suspiciously.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I need a roommate," he said slowly wondering what she was getting out.  
  
"Did you hear Tai got an apartment."  
  
"I had heard something of the sort, but what's it matter."  
  
"Have you talked to him lately?"  
  
"No."  
  
"You should call him and talk to him," Mimi said.  
  
"I don't need to talk to him Mimi, I don't care what he's doing and I really don't care if he moved in with some red headed air head into a crappy three room apartment."  
  
"Do you want me to come over?" Mimi asked hearing the bitter tears he was holding in.  
  
"No, I'll be fine. Mimi, listen to me when I tell you I don't want to get back with him, and nothing is going to change it."  
  
"I don't believe you but I'll be quit talking about it if you want."  
  
"Thank you," he said heaving a sigh of relieve wishing the knot in his stomach would lessen. "So who do you think she is."  
  
"I don't know, I've never seen her, but I've got Sora working on it. I thought you didn't care, Matt."  
  
"I don't, I'm just a little curious to see who I've been replaced with."  
  
"I don't think you've been replaced," Mimi said a little shocked at Matt's self-hating tone.  
  
"Then what else would you call it?"  
  
"She could just be his friend," Mimi said. "I'll call you back when I've finished drilling Sora, kay?"  
  
"Sure, whatever. Bye."  
  
"Bye." Matt hung up the phone and turned on the radio, allowing the loud beat to penetrate the silence lying thick in the room.  
  
*~&~  
  
Tai lay on the hard mattress he called his bed and stared up at the ceiling with empty eyes, craving solitude. His chest was unbearably tight and he could barely swallow with his throat so thick, but he couldn't cry. Not when his roommate could walk in at any given moment.  
  
He was granted nearly seven minutes by himself before the red head bounded in the room, quickly calming herself as she saw Tai's face.  
  
"Are you OK Tai-kun?" she ventured sitting on the edge of his bed, staring down at his expressionless face.  
  
"I'm fine," he told her attempting a small smile, which only served to convince her he was horribly upset.  
  
"The house isn't that bad Tai, you'll get used to it and after a while you can always move out," she said tentatively touching his shoulder in a reassuring gesture. Tai pulled a face at that thought. He'd never be able to move back in the place he longed to.  
  
*~&~  
  
Matt took a bite out of one of the cookies he had just made, realizing he had made too many. He'd wanted a few, been craving them really, like he did every so often. When he did he made a batch without a second thought, ate a couple and let Tai devour the rest.   
  
The cookies would probably rot in the cerematic jar when Matt forgot about them. He generally didn't eat sweet things, just every so often he wanted something with sugar. Come to think about it he should probably clean out the pantry and freezer to get rid of all the crap Tai had brought too satisfy his sweet tooth.  
  
Matt looked at the half-eaten cookie with a sigh and set it back down on the table, unable to take another bite. Thinking about Tai generally stole his appetite and Matt had lost nearly 10 pounds since he had come home to find Tai missing.  
  
God, at the rate he was going he was going to make himself sick.  
  
He looked at the small mound of cookie, wondering idly if there was anyone he could give them too. Throwing them you seemed like such a waste. If he remembered he could take them into work, people in nearby cubicles would love the treat.  
  
He half-heartedly took another bite of the cookie, barely managing to get it down his incredibly dry throat. Why couldn't he stop thinking of Tai! God, the jerk hadn't trusted him, he hadn't even had the balls to stay around and yell at him, but try as he might Matt couldn't bring himself to hate Matt.  
  
Matt looked at the plate of cookies again and decided that he wasn't going to take it anymore, he had to talk to Tai, see if they couldn't straighten things out. Even if all he got was a shaky friendship it would be better then wallowing in his self pity all day.  
  
With that thought in mind he found a box to dump the cookies in and called Mimi to get Tai's new address. 


	12. Unforgivable

Part 12  
  
"Hey Tai, there's someone at the door for you," Chrissy bellowed as she returned to the couch. "Have a seat," she offered the stranger, holding out her bowl of popcorn as she stared fixedly at the TV set.  
  
"Who is it?" he yelled from somewhere back in the apartment, and Matt could faintly hear the shower running.  
  
"How should I know?" Chrissy yelled the question without turning her head.  
  
"I'll be out in a minute." Matt heard the clank of pipes as the water was shut off.  
  
"I can come back later if this is a bad time."  
  
"He'll be out in a minute," Chrissy said in a vague manner that suggested she wasn't parting any of her attention from the black and white horror movie on the TV set then she had to.  
  
Matt shifted, wanting both to leave and stay just long enough to see Tai again, just for one second. He nearly turned and ran out but Tai emerged.  
  
"Give me a minute and I'll, be…" he stopped mid-sentence and froze, looking horrified. He stood there for a minute, water droplets trailing down his body, clad in only a white terry towel.  
  
"What's wrong Tai?" Chrissy asked turning when she heard him trail off. "Maybe you should leave," she told him, advancing towards him.  
  
"Why are you here?" Tai asked, sounding choked.  
  
"I, uh, brought you this, house warming gift," Matt said shoving a box in Tai's general direction, rubbing the back of his neck, trying not to stare at Tai's lithely muscled body.  
  
"You shouldn't be here," Tai managed to force out past the obstacle in his throat.  
  
"But I am." It was a simple sentence, and there was a brief silence following it, almost as if he announced some tragedy. Maybe he had.  
  
"You want me to make him leave?" Chrissy asked Tai protectively. Tai shook his head wordlessly and Chrissy disappeared into her bedroom to give them privacy.  
  
"Maybe you should get dressed," Matt suggested, swallowing thickly, having difficulty keeping his gaze fixed on Tai's face.  
  
"What do you want?" Tai asked, half sighing as he resisted the urge to throw himself into Matt's arms.  
  
"I wanted to see you," Matt said, looking a little shocked as the words left his mouth. He had only meant to say talk, he didn't want Tai to know how badly he was hurting.  
  
"You shouldn't be here," Tai repeated, feeling the bitter sting of tears in the corners of his eyes, and he struggled to keep them at bay, at least until Matt had left. He couldn't let Matt know how badly he needed him, he couldn't let Matt see how badly he was hurting.  
  
"Why not? Can't I just wish you luck with your new apartment?"  
  
"No, Matt. We, we're not friends anymore, we can't just hang out whenever we feel like it. It doesn't work like that."  
  
"Why can't be still be friends at least? We were friends years before we started going out."  
  
"It's not that easy,' Tai said, struggling not to yell, to shout out his frustration. Matt made a sour face and advanced towards Tai, getting just close enough for Tai to take hold of the box.   
  
Matt winced as his fingers brushed against Tai's, feeling the familiar tug of longing. He wanted nothing more then to crush Tai to him and smother the boy in kisses. It didn't help that the towel anchored around Tai's waist looked like it could slip off at any second.  
  
Matt quickly retreated to his earlier place, knowing that if he didn't move Tai would. Tai gazed at the box for a minute, with sorrow filled eyes, but didn't open it. After a minute he looked back up at Matt, and he didn't know what to do.  
  
"If you want me to leave, just say it, I'll walk out and never come back," Matt said, forcing the words out, praying fervently that Tai wouldn't say yes. Try as he might Tai couldn't say yes, he knew it was the smart answer, that it would probably stave off future pain. He just couldn't force the syllable out.  
  
"I need to get dressed," Tai said, obviously evading the question hanging between them. Tai retreated quickly to his room, but Matt strode after him, stopping him before he got through the door.  
  
"Tai," Matt said on a shuddering breath, wrapping his arms around Tai, pressing himself against Tai's back. Tai's nearly naked form started to shiver, and the tears he had suppressed so long leapt to his eyes. "Tai, please."  
  
Tai broke away from his grip and walked to stand in front of the window, biting his lip fiercely, his arms wrapped around himself tightly. He spent a second trying to regulate his breathing, and somehow managed to force out a sentence.  
  
"Leave so I can get dressed."  
  
"Tai," Matt started to protest, but Tai cut him off with a vicious wave of his hand.  
  
"Don't, Matt. Just let me pull on some damn pants." Matt shut the bedroom door but didn't leave, though Tai didn't realize it. Tai sank to the floor, his entire form shaking harshly.  
  
Matt dropped to his knees behind Tai and pressed a kiss to the back of Tai's neck.  
  
"Tai, please, come back to me," Matt begged wrapping his arms around Tai in both a lovers embrace and a consoling hug.  
  
"It wouldn't work," Tai spat out, but he didn't pull away from Matt, which the later took as a good sign.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because I couldn't trust you," Tai said brokenly.  
  
"We can just forget about that, or work around it, but please, I don't think I can live without you Tai. Please."  
  
"Why do you want this? All that'll happen is I'll end up doing something that will hurt the both of us."  
  
"As long as the both of us are hurting then there's still love and we can get through it." Tai was silent, leaning back against Matt, the fight draining out of his body. "Tai, please, I love you. Come back home."  
  
"I live here now," Tai said weakly. "I can't just abandon Chrissy, I help her pay the rent."  
  
"You've been here five days Tai. I'm sure she can find someone else to move in here and help her out instead. If you really have to you can live here I guess. But that doesn't mean we can't see each other anymore."  
  
Tai placed one of his hands on Matt's, looking at there intertwined fingers, realizing Matt was still wearing the slim gold band Tai had given him when he had proposed.  
  
"Tai," Matt said, choking on his own tears, not yet willing to accept that Tai might not go back to him. He had known it when he had come to the apartment, but then he had seen that Tai was in as much pain as he was, and he had thought Tai would be willing to end both their pain. But Tai was stubborn and he might decide it wasn't worth it to risk all the pain again if something else happened.  
  
Tai's breath hitched and he detached himself from Matt's arms. He looked around the room, seeming a little dazed and grabbed a pair of jeans. Matt stood to leave as Tai pulled them on.  
  
"Can't have Chrissy walking in here if my towel falls off or anything," Tai said, still sounding a little shaky despite the light tone he was shooting for.  
  
"That'd be terrible," Matt said licking his dry lips, still unsure if Tai wanted him gone or not.  
  
Tai took the few steps to stand in front of the blond and just looked at him for a minute.  
  
"Do you still want to marry me?" he asked.  
  
"Of course."  
  
Tai's face light up in a brilliant smile and he threw his arms around Matt's neck, hugging him tightly. 


End file.
